Finding Oneself (R)

It’d been a few weeks since Aika took on Jeri as a project. And true to my word, I hadn’t left being a living lovedoll of some sort in that time. Didn’t make my job any more difficult, but I hadn’t done too much in that time, either. A few days managing a store while someone else trained for the position, one day handling the opening of a new club space, and most of the rest was the usual paperwork.

Today, I was standing out on the floor of a newer Bridgestar store that had just opened, while some of the newer employees were trained in how we handled stocking and displaying product on the shelves. Shirohoshi followed the idea that aesthetics were just as important as organization, so everyone had to pay attention to who everthing was put out, on top of the actual product count itself.

“Mistress Ezeri?”

My Cobalion hooves squeaked softly as I turned around, only to find one of our newer recruits walking up to me. Janet, one of the younger white hyena clerks, was pushing a cart with some boxes stacked on it. She looked slightly lost.

“Sorry to bother you, ma’am, but Mistress Elaina just got called away.” Her voice was as crackly as most her age that I knew, though she held herself quite proudly. “I can’t find these products anywhere on the planogram. Do they go on the second floor, maybe?”

Kneeling down to check the product IDs, I compared them to the diagram that was hanging from the side of the basket. Sure enough, they weren’t on it. And even after pulling out my own copy of the upper floor layout, I couldn’t see where they were supposed to go.

“No, they’re not up there, either. Hold on…” I said, putting my tablet away into a hidden pocket along my back. My wide tri-digit hands gripped the perforated edge of a box and opened it. Water bottles…? “Oh! These go in the café near the south entrance. Come on, I’ll show you.”

“Thanks.”

As we took the short walk over, Janet started asking something that I wasn’t expecting.

“Um… Sorry if this is out of left field, but… I’ve gotta ask. What’s it like to be a living sex doll?” I could see her blush as she spoke. “I mean…”

“It’s fine.” I told her, helping to stopping the cart in front of the shelf that we needed to be at. “That’s a question most of us are trained to answer for customers, so you’re in good company asking about it.”

“Ah! Okay.”

While she got to work with stocking the bottles, I began handing them to her. “So… First of all, having vinyl or latex skin is a hell of a trip. Especially the first time you go out for a walk in the rain. It just runs off of you like it’s nothing, and you don’t even have to worry about an umbrella or anything.”

“But isn’t it a bit uncomfortable, being forced to smile like that all the time?”

“You get used to it.” I handed her a few more, feeling along the molded static snout I had. “It only took me a few days to tune it out, but I’ll admit that it felt like I had a gag glued in there for a while. Talking was difficult, but once you drop your muscle memory, it gets much easier. And even if you’re a model with painted eyes or a static expression, you just kinda forget about showing anything with your face or eyes. Makes you a bit harder to read for most people, though.”

She nodded, looking back at me long enough to grab the last couple pieces from the first box, and then opening the second for me. “Did people give you grief for it when you started taking that form?”

“Yeah.” Started passing her more product. “Hell, I still run into people like that. Same with just being lawfully nude in public. Even with laws stopping it across the Alliance, you get individuals who just want to enforce their ideologies. I had to learn to ignore them.”

“What about people grabbing you on the street in the Red Districts?”

I shrugged. “I almost always wear an Open Invitation charm when I’m out, so it doesn’t bother me. But yeah, you get people like that from time to time. You either have to point out their mistake, or slap them down if they don’t stop, and trust me, I’ve seen some rather powerful beings gasp in pain from a hard smack across the face from a rubber synth.”

“I bet.” Janet paused, getting to her feet after putting the last row of bottles into place. “But how many take that sort of form just for the form? Like, breaking out and doing it just because they like looking like that, and not the sex that can come with it?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “More that you’d think. Several years ago, I ran into a kid who wasn’t quite a legal adult yet, but he got himself a lovedoll TransSuit through his father. Turned out his boyfriend’s older brother had their own set of suits, and both he and his boyfriend wore some of them rather regularly. He felt more comfortable in that state than he did as an organic.”

“Did he get in trouble for doing it, though?” She asked, giving me a look of concern. “Like, he was underage, wasn’t he?”

“Oh yeah, by about four years. But no, he didn’t get punished for it. Not by his father, or the social department. His body was his own.” I stopped long enough to help Janet with putting the cardboard into the reclamation system for processing. “His school life turned to hell thanks to the teachers, but that was going to happen regardless. We shut that middle school down completely for what they did, and both teens went on to finish their remaining homeschooling in only a year.”

There was a bit of a sudden quiet from her as we walked toward the back. “So… I’m still a couple months away from adulthood. Could I legally get a love doll TransSuit for a permanent transformation if it meant I’d be happier?”

I waited until we were behind closed doors before I spoke up again. “Happier in what way? And I mean that as a legitimate question.”

The awkward pause came back, this time a bit briefer.

“Well… I might have been using one of my brother’s tiger doll suits that he left behind when he moved. I’ll admit, I’d never felt so…free, until I was in it. Like I was meant to be that way.”

That came as a shock to me, but the question had to be asked. “Like you’re finally yourself, instead of being in someone else’s skin?” She nodded, and I couldn’t help but mentally smile as brightly as the static one on my physical face. “So you knew what it’s like, but you wanted a bit of confirmation. Is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“How long have you been doing this?” I asked, trying to gauge her reactions.

She rubbed the back of her head nervously. “For the last several months. I’m a homeschooler living on my own, so I don’t worry about taking it off unless I have to go out to do something.”

This presented me with a bit of a dilemma. One I could easily solve, but I’d need a bit of help.

“Alright. You’re officially done for the day.” I opened the door, stopping only long enough to finish my thought. “Clock out, head home to shower, and bring the suit you’ve been wearing. Take the local ARCC portal to Shirohoshi HQ, and you’ll wanna ride the elevator to the fifty-fifth floor. There’s someone I’d like you to meet with.”

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It was a couple hours before Janet walked through the door to my personal office, a messenger bag strapped across her shoulder. Being the company president had its perks, and a private space for important discussions was one of them. Another perk was hopefully about to take place.

“Janet?” I said, walking over to her and motioning toward my desk. “I’d like you to meet Aika, head of the Synth Training division here at Shirohoshi. Aika, this is Janet Rolino. She works at the Bridgestar out in Dire Oaks.”

The hyena’s eyes gazed over at the snow leopard-taur that sat up before her. A love doll as well, Aika had the same type of molded-smile static mouth, expressive eyes, mitten hands, and printed latex body as me, being a similar tier model. She was also very tall, but her eyes showed a softness to them.

“A pleasure.” Aika said, holding out a hand to shake. Something which Janet seemed to do enthusiastically. “Tera told me about your conversation. I might be able to help you out.”

The change in Janet’s expression was almost instantaneous, from excited to almost unbeleiving. “How…?”

“I want you to put the suit on, in front of me.” Aika folded her arms across her chest. “I need to see how it affects you mentally. And trust me, even your nerves won’t be able to hide your true reaction. Not from me.”

Janet hesitated, but I was sure she knew she’d be safe around us. Eventually, the suit went over her body, and the spine zipped up tight in her hand.

Where a hyena once stood, a tiger had taken her place. A pink tiger, with seamless black stripes across her body in the proper patterns, and a white belly and chest. Thicker paw-style hands flexed their digits, as did the digitgrade footpaws down below. And while she had the usual molded static smile and an onahole mouth, she also had the expressive eyes like ours, while molded ears stood permanently at attention on top of her head. Male and female genitals were down below, along with a pair of busty breasts that stuck out from her chest. The suit definitely made her look adult.

But it was the sigh of absolute relief that came from the newly-transformed doll that really caught our attention. I knew that sound… I’d heard it many times before.

Aika and I looked at each other, then toward Janet, with Aika stepping toward her.

“Oh, you’re definitely one of us.” She said, putting a mittened hand on Janet’s shoulder. “There’s no mistaking that sigh.”

I stayed silent long enough to tap on the touch screen of my desk for a bit, filling out some info. “Alright Janet, here’s what’s going to happen. You’ll be getting a new ID with that tiger doll’s face. I’ve marked you as in-trial for a permanent change, so leave it on. I want you coming here for training with Aika’s team for the next few months, and if you’re still set on making the the transition, we’ll look into getting you a custom suit of your own design, if you want.”

The feline’s eyes lit up, both figuratively and literally, and her long tubular tail twitched with excitement. “Wait… Really!?”

“Yeah.” I reached over and grabbed the new badge that just printed from the AutoMEC that was installed into it. “Kyle? Mind coming in here, please?”

From the side room to our north, I watched as a pink-red-and-white lovedoll wolf walked into the room, a folder full of papers clutched in one mitten hand. “Yes, ma’am?”

I took the folder and handed him the badge. “Escort Miss Rolino here down to security. She needs a new ID for her transition trial. Have them use this badge for all the info.”

“Sure thing.”

As Janet turned to follow, she made sure to yell out one last remark. “Thanks, Mistress Ezeri!”

Once the pair were out the door, I turned toward Aika. “So, think she might be able to help you, too?”

“You mean with Jeri?” The leopardess chuckled, walking toward the door as well. I followed close behind. “Maybe. I’m pretty sure they could both use a friend closer to their own age. It just might spark something. Thanks for bringing her to me, by the way.”

“I’m just glad I know someone who can help her.”

The two of us entered the second elevator just as the doors began to open.

“Anyway, you’re off for the next couple days, right?” Aika asked, turning around to face the doors.

“Next three, actually.”

“So am I, and a few of my crew as well. Wanna get together for anything?”

“What’s this week’s bad movie?”

Aika shook her head, laughing softly. “Wu Long the Killer Dong. Something Somai brought in a few weeks ago. Jeri’s apparently a big fan of the director, so she’s looking forward to it.”

“Well…” I paused for a moment, thinking about my options. “I’ve gotta check in on someone tonight, but after that, I wouldn’t mind spending a bit of time under you while I break in a new suit. Might even see if Janet wants to come along, too.”

“Sounds good to me.”

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